Redemption
by Dramabahn
Summary: He sighs to himself. Why? The word has haunted him for many a moon, ever since he started. Why? He may tell himself that Firestar can go on without him, he may even believe himself sometimes. But he knows it's a lie. Graystripecentric


Redemption  
A Warriors Fan-Fiction

Note from the author: This, being the first of a couple things, is about Graystripe. For me it is the first of writing a one-shot in the book times, I am also using the style of first person, which I have fallen in love with and hope you enjoy. As far as I know, itís also a new take on Graystripe and Firestarís friendship. Please R&R, and please enjoy!

P.S. This takes place after Graystripe has been captured by twolegs. He has escaped, and is making his way towards the mountains, back to his Clan.

His eyes are closed, if it werenít for the fact that he stands up right, that his ears are pricked with a proud, stubborn determination, that his body is tense, they would think him dead.

Ice weighs down a matted gray pelt, hardly recognizable under dirt and mud. Itís long hairs are frozen and heavy, it is an effort for every movement. A struggle for every leap. It is almost impossible to continue. Impossible in fact- except for him.

Suddenly the amber eyes open, painfully. The amber glow within them seems to melt some of the ice. He grinds his teeth in frustration. He did doesnít dare lick his pelt, for fear his own tongue will freeze. It seems comical, and maybe in his apprentice days he would have laughed at such a scene. But now death is too real to laugh.

He inches forward, silently wondering what he has done to deserve such a wrath from the elements. Wind batters at his broken body, painful with every step, unbearable with every stumble. He no longer notices the way his body shakes with cold, he no longer realizes how weak and hungry he becomes with each new pace, he has grown numb to it all in a desperation to reach his goal. But desperation can, will, only get him so far. It can only get him this far.

He falls. And he knows this was the end. A cat who has shared so much love, and always had it snatched away. It was bitterly fitting that he will die alone, in the middle of the unknown, with only his killers for company the many long moons his body will remain frozen. They will never find him. He wants to howl to the heavens in grief, but doesnít have the energy. Eyes close again.

How close has he come to this before? How many times? He shudders, it was is cruel, he wants to lie down and die, more then anything. Hasnít he had enough pain in his life? The world will go on without him. Firestar will go on without him. Sandstorm and Brackenpaw will go on without him. And... Stormfur? He curses silently, his son still needs him.

ìI...î A voice cracks from within him, raspy from lack of use and lack of water. ìI...m... coming Stormfur.î He hasnít gone out yet. ìYouíll have to try harder then that!î He tries to yell at the storm, but it comes out as a whispery rasp, and it hurts his throat. It occurs to him maybe he is going insane.

He staggers upwards, lurching sideways and almost falling down again. He squints and looks into the distance, his vision is fuzzy, but he can see the entrance to the cave. He breaths out- it is shaky with disbelief and shock. He manages to drag himself to the entrance of the shelter.

Unlike the old times, he does not sniff the hole, even if he could with a frozen nose. His eyes do not dart within the darkness, and his movements are not cautious. If there is something in the darkness and yearns to kill him-- so be it. His heart has already been ripped out many times, and he is already on the verge of death.

He collapsed when he descends even ground within the shelter. Despite the dampness of the underground, it is warmer and drier then he is used to these days, and he curls his tail around his body as he settles down. Fur fluffed out for warmth, and tail touching his nose to conserve heat.

His sleep is not often blank, and more then often is filled with the horrors of his past. This time though, his sleep is not deep enough for such images. His subconscious mind wants to organize his thoughts, his body wants to know why his mind insists on such a taxing, and vain quest.

He sighs to himself. Why? The word has haunted him for many a moon, ever since he started. Why? He may tell himself that Firestar can go on without him, he may even believe himself sometimes. But he knows it is not true. He owes it to his friend to continue. He owes it to his Clan.

Who was always there for him? And he could not say that for himself. Firestar had flawlessly supported him with the death of Silverstream, and the death of his own daughter. He had stood by him forever, he had honored him with the position of deputy.

And he, he, his despicable self, had not always been there for his friend. No, he had visited Silverstream, and torn Firestarís loyalty to keep his secret. He had left Firestar for his kin, chosen his mate over his friend once again. And now he had gone again-- though not, to his credit, of his own will. Coming back, no matter how hard it was, was something he needed to do. Something Firestar would expect. He needed to prove that he was worthy of ThunderClan deputy. Worthy of being Firestarís friend.

It would be his redemption. Redemption, for all his mistakes.


End file.
